Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Inside Mark Green's war room...

The following conversation is completely fictional. Any part of the dialogue that resembles actual campaign strategy is purely coincidental. Although you have to wonder how stupid they think we are...


Several men sit inside a small office. One of the men is clearly the Republican candidate for Governor in the State of Wisconsin. The others look like your everyday, run of the mill campaign strategists. Three of them, however, seem to be running the show. The meeting begins...

Green: "The purpose of this meeting was to what, again?"

Mark: "Clarify your platform. Weigh in on the heavy issues of the day."

Green: "Such as?"


The geeky one named Charley speaks first...


Charley: "TABOR."

Ordinary staffer: "Tourism, Environmental issues... and certainly Education."

Charley: "And TABOR."

Green: "Education has been covered. We did that tax holiday thing."

Mark: "Tax breaks once a year for school supplies. That should fix our public schools."

Ordinary staffer: "With all due respect, sir, people are starting ask questions about their neighborhood schools. With programs being cut year after year, and with Mr. Green backing away from two-thirds funding, parents are beginning to wonder if their taxes are going to go up or are schools going to get hit once again. We need a plan."

Charley: "TABOR would help schools."


Candidate Green gets up from his seat and starts to pace the room. There must be a way to convince voters that he is in support of education without actually doing anything. Slowly, a smile crosses his face. He sits down and turns toward the smart one in the room. We'll call him Jeff.


Green: "What was that gimmik... I mean idea from the Overstock guy? It had to due with spending education dollars in the classroom."

Jeff: "The 65 percent solution."

Green: "Yes, that's it!"


pause


Green: "How does that work?"

Jeff: "It says that 65 percent of all dollars spent on education must go into the classroom. Research has shown that too much is spent on administration, guidance, libraries and other out of classroom costs at the expense of the children. The more you spend on the kids the more they learn!"

Green: "So even if I backed away from two-thirds funding and froze school spending, I could confuse voters by saying I put more money directly in the classroom?"

Ordinary Staffer: "But Mr. Green..."

Jeff: "Precisely!"

Green: "Outstanding! Let's use that on one of our 100 stops in 100 days press releases. I was running out of material anyway. What day are we on?"

Ordinary staffer: "Day four, sir. But about your 65 percent idea... there's a problem sir!"

Jeff: "How can there be a problem? This has been run up the flag pole in state after state and always comes back a winner! Look at those Republicans... supporting public education!"

Ordinary staffer: "But in Wisconsin, sir, it's not going to fly! The school districts here already spend over 65 percent on classroom costs."



The room fell to a hush as the bad news sunk in. Another bumper sticker idea down the drain. Now perhaps saving education would take real work. A new funding formula. Lifting state imposed mandates. Reworking the QEO. But all was NOT lost. In their deepest moment of dispair, their fearless leader had a revelation...



Green: "I'VE GOT IT!"

Charley: "TABOR?"

Green: "The newest idea in Educational reform!"

Jeff: "Tell us!"

Green: "The 70 percent solution!"

Ordinary staffer: "Ooh geez..."






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